Free writing@ Salsa Class

I'm here at the place where there is loud music and people are learning Salsa. It is fun to watch them and it left me wondering how I can be so quiet sitting at the side and writing. There is a big mirror where people can see themselves dancing, ah such a joy. I remember myself growing up dancing in front of the mirror. Oh I wish I could be child again and do all the moves once I learnt. Dancing was always my passion and will always be whether I dance anymore or not. The music is loud and lovely, I want to dance with the music but I'm afraid I might make a fool out of myself which is the saddest part of being grown up. I don't know why we always want ourselves to prove intelligent and talented when we actually are not. I still want to dance in the rain and with the wind but I'm scared what will people think? But we need to overcome this and dance; here I don't mean dance as in its literal meaning but dancing for me is living my life and dance with the music of life. Often times we complain about those which we don’t have and forget to listen to our inner voice. So I believe it is essential to dance with the music as life plays and do the moves accordingly.

I wonder these people dancing with the music played by the instructor are not they capable of making their own music and invent their own form of dance. Are we always being guided by some seen and unseen forces? Are we not creative enough? Are we not intelligent enough? Yes we are but the fact is many of us don't know about the fact that we can create our own music, our own rhythm and our own dance. It's just that we all are busy imitating what others do, we have forgotten our hidden talent or else we are just too lazy to invent our own. The unseen forces has made each of us unique and given each of us different talent. But in only some they give the passion to continue their uniqueness and reach the ultimate peace. Often in solitude I ask myself what is the ultimate peace that human being are looking for ? And are human even capable to attain that peace ? And above all what is peace, are we looking for peace in money, knowledge, love or something else? What is our priority, what is that we are exactly looking for is the question we need to ask ourselves time and again. Is the peace that we are looking for is in that innocent smile or that mischievous look or as someone said peace is in seeing the other person growing up. I still don't know and I don't want to search for the ultimate peace as until and unless I don't stop searching for answers to my never ending questions. I will never attain peace and I think its ok sometimes to fail and to make a fool of ourselves or to behave as a child and to cry like a child and to live life in our own terms. Are we strong enough to feel all the emotions life has to offer? I remember one of my friends saying that life is to feel all the emotions and the challenge for us is to be capable enough to experience all these emotions.

Now something caught my eyes in this place i.e people dancing here are wearing different kinds of shoes. Their shoes tells their stories i,e where they came from and where they will be going. As each of our shoes tells their story; we all have our own stories to tell, some have stories of joy where as some have sorrows but we definitely have our own stories to tell. Sometimes we confine ourselves so much that we are scared to share all that we have felt the emotions of love, anger, hatred, joy, and sorrows. Human beings are so selfish that they don’t care for their own feeling. Have we ever cheated ourselves in that way, suppressing our own feelings and pretending that you never felt that way? Have you ever diverted your feelings and tried to ignore them? I don't know about you but I am sure that I have done that several times and it doesn’t bother me to admit it. There is no bigger sin than ignoring what we feel. These days I have been thinking about all these for long but could not find the solution as it is said that solution comes attached with every problem. And I think most of the times we only focus on solution and do not discuss about the problem or we cannot find what the problem actually is? Many times we focus on one thing and some other thing rises up. So it is up to us to analyze how far can we go or how far can we reach. I don't know what is wrong with everyone of us; we are racing to find something which does not belong to us or those things that we don't need to be happy. Running after materials is like counting the stars in the sky which will never end and you tend to run after the same material again and again and never be satisfied. I feel very much depressed and sorry by looking at those who run after happiness given to them by materials or some meagre money. Will it bring them happiness; will it bring them closure to peace? I wonder whether it really does but I believe they take you one step forward to more pain and one step backward from peace. So, it is up to us to decide on which direction where we want to proceed and it is up to us whether to live life with happiness or be in a miserable condition.

Are there any unseen forces?

Sixth sense, intuition, telepathy, soul mate, soul, lives after death, past lives are the terms that I have been reading lately. I am also somewhat a believer of these terms and have experienced issues related with these more than several times as if it were for once then I might have called it a co-incidence. But repeatedly I have been experiencing it and I figured out that some unseen forces are urging me to act in the way I'm acting. There have been circumstances when I wanted to move out or discard the message it was giving but there is always something back of mind telling me not to discard those messages and when I do I know the consequences i.e something bad will happen or something against my will happens.

Recently, I am facing some consequences which I neither can control nor can I go against it. I'm troubled, terrified and moreover confused as without any scientific reasoning is it wise enough to believe in it .I wonder whether the books that I have been reading are influencing me to that extent that I have started to believe whatever is written in those books or the things that I am feeling are in fact true that some unseen forces are speaking to me. And I don't know where to seek the answers to my questions or quest my thirst of knowing what is that forcing us to act in a certain way.

In Life after Death, Deepak Chopra writes "Time has made each of us unique" which is in fact very true. We have brought uniqueness into this life from our previous lives and we will carry the skills that we acquire in this life into the other. And what keeps life fascinating is the creativity that the soul acquires constantly.

I have had discussions with several people regarding unseen forces and have received many responses. Some do believe in it where as some laugh over it and some argue that these are the conclusions of unstable mind. Here I don't want to argue about the beliefs that people have had all their lives as they all are right at some point or the other.

In every romantic literature and in songs we know that special focus has been given to the eyes. I have pondered all my life why has eyes been given special attention in love songs and poetry. I had asked these questions to myself more than thousand times but could not ask about it to anyone with the fear to be bullied. But lately what I have learnt is it is never too late to ask and it is ok to ask if we do not know anything. This query was fulfilled when I got to read the book "Only Love Is Real" where Brian Weiss mentioned that through eyes we can know if the person was with us in the past lives or not. As it is said that eyes are the way to reach one's soul, the book somehow clarifies that through eyes we can recognize one's soul or soul mate. Thus eyes are the ones that travel with us from one life to other and eyes are in fact the mirror of our souls.

There are both believers and non believers in this world but what I have been facing is that I can neither believe in it nor deny it completely. I can neither fully believe nor fully discard the consequences. I do not have any philosophical, spiritual nor scientific background nor can I give any logic of my argument. You might have perceived notion that I might have been highly influenced by the book but I felt these things even before reading those books. With every logical reasoning there have been illogical consequences and all the time I have been trying to solve the puzzle but could not give it a logical end. Thus, I am seeking answers from you all whether these terms are only making us ponder on these issues or are they challenging us to change our beliefs. Let me know whether you are the one who believe in logic or are the ones who follow illogical reasoning as I am the one torn between the two.

What we choose today will ripple through out a thousand tomorrows and at the same time do not trust reflections, not if you want to see reality.