Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Free writing@ Salsa Class

I'm here at the place where there is loud music and people are learning Salsa. It is fun to watch them and it left me wondering how I can be so quiet sitting at the side and writing. There is a big mirror where people can see themselves dancing, ah such a joy. I remember myself growing up dancing in front of the mirror. Oh I wish I could be child again and do all the moves once I learnt. Dancing was always my passion and will always be whether I dance anymore or not. The music is loud and lovely, I want to dance with the music but I'm afraid I might make a fool out of myself which is the saddest part of being grown up. I don't know why we always want ourselves to prove intelligent and talented when we actually are not. I still want to dance in the rain and with the wind but I'm scared what will people think? But we need to overcome this and dance; here I don't mean dance as in its literal meaning but dancing for me is living my life and dance with the music of life. Often times we complain about those which we don’t have and forget to listen to our inner voice. So I believe it is essential to dance with the music as life plays and do the moves accordingly.

I wonder these people dancing with the music played by the instructor are not they capable of making their own music and invent their own form of dance. Are we always being guided by some seen and unseen forces? Are we not creative enough? Are we not intelligent enough? Yes we are but the fact is many of us don't know about the fact that we can create our own music, our own rhythm and our own dance. It's just that we all are busy imitating what others do, we have forgotten our hidden talent or else we are just too lazy to invent our own. The unseen forces has made each of us unique and given each of us different talent. But in only some they give the passion to continue their uniqueness and reach the ultimate peace. Often in solitude I ask myself what is the ultimate peace that human being are looking for ? And are human even capable to attain that peace ? And above all what is peace, are we looking for peace in money, knowledge, love or something else? What is our priority, what is that we are exactly looking for is the question we need to ask ourselves time and again. Is the peace that we are looking for is in that innocent smile or that mischievous look or as someone said peace is in seeing the other person growing up. I still don't know and I don't want to search for the ultimate peace as until and unless I don't stop searching for answers to my never ending questions. I will never attain peace and I think its ok sometimes to fail and to make a fool of ourselves or to behave as a child and to cry like a child and to live life in our own terms. Are we strong enough to feel all the emotions life has to offer? I remember one of my friends saying that life is to feel all the emotions and the challenge for us is to be capable enough to experience all these emotions.

Now something caught my eyes in this place i.e people dancing here are wearing different kinds of shoes. Their shoes tells their stories i,e where they came from and where they will be going. As each of our shoes tells their story; we all have our own stories to tell, some have stories of joy where as some have sorrows but we definitely have our own stories to tell. Sometimes we confine ourselves so much that we are scared to share all that we have felt the emotions of love, anger, hatred, joy, and sorrows. Human beings are so selfish that they don’t care for their own feeling. Have we ever cheated ourselves in that way, suppressing our own feelings and pretending that you never felt that way? Have you ever diverted your feelings and tried to ignore them? I don't know about you but I am sure that I have done that several times and it doesn’t bother me to admit it. There is no bigger sin than ignoring what we feel. These days I have been thinking about all these for long but could not find the solution as it is said that solution comes attached with every problem. And I think most of the times we only focus on solution and do not discuss about the problem or we cannot find what the problem actually is? Many times we focus on one thing and some other thing rises up. So it is up to us to analyze how far can we go or how far can we reach. I don't know what is wrong with everyone of us; we are racing to find something which does not belong to us or those things that we don't need to be happy. Running after materials is like counting the stars in the sky which will never end and you tend to run after the same material again and again and never be satisfied. I feel very much depressed and sorry by looking at those who run after happiness given to them by materials or some meagre money. Will it bring them happiness; will it bring them closure to peace? I wonder whether it really does but I believe they take you one step forward to more pain and one step backward from peace. So, it is up to us to decide on which direction where we want to proceed and it is up to us whether to live life with happiness or be in a miserable condition.